There are just times when you look at other people in your job/ industry and what they are doing and you feel like you are doing nothing. It is normal in this age of information overload where everyone is making moves. It is easy to get to a point where all you are doing is observing.
Pic/ Author’s own
We have all been at a place when we grit our teeth and offer forced and false congratulations to people. Like “Wow… I’m really happy for you.” But deep inside, you are not happy for them. It is okay to be honest with yourself if you feel like that.
Where does this thing of not being happy for others come from? It comes from how we are wired. Thousands of years back, resources were. That is why you feel (even today) like someone else’s win reduces the resources. That is why your first reaction may be to ask, ” What about Me”.
However, today in the workplace/ the world out here, someone else’s win does not necessarily mean your loss. We can all eat. We can all carve out our own space doing what we love.
Think about how many brands of cars there are on the road and they all get customers. Think about streets full of salons and they all get their unique clients. All you need to do is differentiate and offer value and you will occupy your space.
The reason why other people seem to be winning while you are losing is because you are focusing on them. You focus on other people too much and what car they drive, who they are married to, where they live etc.
You forget to focus on your own race and you start looking at what the person next to you is doing / achieving. This will drive you crazy and get you off track. You need to be competing with who you were yesterday.
We are naturally wired to be interested and curious about other people but limiting your interest in others peoples business does so much good to you. Focus on yourself.
What you focus your attention to grows. So if every day you are looking at what other people are doing, travelling to, who they are dating,etc. religiously, how is that helping you? Obviously you will feel some type of way.
When your friends succeed, are you happy on the surface but not on the inside? It is essential to understand your reaction.
Learn to also force yourself to be happy for others genuinely. The only way you can be happy is by learning that their win does not mean your loss. If you really have to feed yourself with what others are doing make sure it is for the right reasons.
Make sure it is for inspiration and motivation. Make sure it is to encourage you or teach you something. Make sure it is adding value. Make sure you are also so confident in yourself that such stuff does not affect you.
Not everyone has confidence in themselves and their abilities but this is something you can learn by doing. You get more confident by doing more, putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and feeding your mind good things.
Be happy for people making it. I am talking about being “genuinely” happy and inspired by other people’s success. The minute you learn how to be positive and celebrate others as much as you celebrate yourself, freedom comes to you!
